your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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