He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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