Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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