Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
