I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
