they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
