he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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