I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
