hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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