he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
