You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
