WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
handjob tips. give me some.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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