you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize