New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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