He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
