me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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