Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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