Me too!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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