Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
