I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
