If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
