Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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