wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
