Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
