explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
