I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
