I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
