Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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