You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
