I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
this beer tastes like vomit already
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I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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