I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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