So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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