like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
