I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
