Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
