Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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