she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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