my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we made out on top of his cat.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
