I'm so fucking centered right now
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
