some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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