this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
