i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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