Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize