Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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