this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
