maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
