TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
