This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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