I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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