piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
