I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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