i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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