Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
