please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
