I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
