She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
