looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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