Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
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its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
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I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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